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Repeated Mistakes,

January 2nd, 2013

One of my school teachers used to say to me that a wise man learns from his mistakes. He is more wise if he learns from someone else's mistakes and a fool if he doesn't learn at all. I place myself in the last category. Some mistakes are so beautiful and addictive that a person wants to repeat them over and over. I had an exam today. But the administration of my college are a bunch of lazy creeps who cannot make new questions. That's why they happily copy-paste questions from the past exams. The same they did today. It was a good thing. I thought I was the only fool who would do mistakes but the admin proved to me that I am not alone. Still I made some lame mistakes. This reminded me of my teacher. He was right. I wonder what mistake he did or he was wise enough to learn from his mistakes. Some mistakes are simply vital to earn experience. I can quote only two. And my experience made it clear to me that both are unavoidable and equally painful. One is appearing in the exams and other is falling in love. The inner fool in us still makes us want to commit both, isn't he? Rascal!
Aamir Bilal

A Sister's Love


This is not a long writing, but if expanded it can fill volumes of books on it. Love alone is a subject that writers, poets and philosophers from every age tried to explain and even today it remains a book to which further contribution is needed. God didn't bless me with the relation named sister. I am a brother but to another brother. However, in his all blessings that God showered on me, I am thankful for each single one of them. The mind which itself is a blessing analyzes and thinks upon what the eyes see, the ears hear. So many lessons or interpretations that the mind is seeing are brought into this existence just because of the senses. The eyes have observed things out of which one is the relation of a sister. Even without having one, I have seen the love of a sister around me and I believe that it is undoubtedly one of the strongest loves that exist.
With time things are changing. I still remember that in my childhood it was hard to send some words to someone living thousands of miles away. People waited for weeks for their mail to be delivered, read and replied. Now that has changed to such a level that the past journey of the weeks are crossed in the blink of an eye. Sadly, there is a downside to this change as well. Those relations were very strong, so strong in fact that they crossed miles for weeks and remained unchanged. Now, people and their love is so frail. Frankly, I believe that it all got mutated during this change. My concepts about the love of a sister were entirely based on the old days but new observations have led to a newer belief which is dual-tone of extremes.
In the first observation, I came across a girl who was not a real sister to another girl. They were so fast friends that they started claiming each other as their sister. One of them has a real sister in the family too. The other one had none. But this gap was filled when she found a friend who proved more of a sister. But none expected a storm that was headed their way. Over the years some dirty secrets started popping out, the trust started to erode and eventually the "sisterhood" collapsed when they felt that humans are like machines i.e., use them only when you want to. In the end I saw who used to walk together, laugh together had a tall wall in between, a wall even they could not climb. The mind concluded that sisters don't love.
In the second observation, I came across a woman who is highly respected by me. In fact, there are many aunts but few are cherished and respected like mom, she is one of the respected ones. She had a daughter whom she wanted to get settled. The girl was much elder than me otherwise the aunty would have been an indirect mother to me. Ha! That was a joke. Seriously, she wanted a good match for her daughter. The girl however was interested in someone else. The aunty knew about this and tried her best to make the girl forget the boy. The aunty wanted her daughter to marry a boy of aunty's choice. I came to know later on that aunty had a friend in college whom she called sister and now they want their "sisterhood" to grow more deeper. A mother tried to kill the happiness of her daughter for the sake of a sister. It was totally a shock.
Thank God, I can never be a sister. Laugh Out Loud!

The Best Friend

People of similar nature can get along better. Logically, a good one deserves a good one. It makes me wonder how can I get a best person as my friend. Just how! I am surprised at times that I am friends with a person who despite being strange, cranky and odd at times is the best. The word best defines the nature rather than the degree among the few friends I have earned in life so far. I am not even half to my friend. Maybe logic doesn't work with friends, right?

New War

We all face a new war from time to time. Life is a very long war with many battles, some won and some lost. Anger and silence of a loved one is a sign of a minor war which left unresolved can spread to an irreparable disaster. The war can break out instantly and even spread with the same pace. Unanswered texts and calls are a sign too, especially when you happen to be in a relationship. Relationships can be very tricky matters too. Taunts, cheats and lies are a temporary win but would always make you lose in the end. But what is a loss. In love this word doesn't seem to exist. But the women of subcontinent would fail to agree. Won't they.

Vengeance,


March 13, 2011
With age a man learns. Lessons and skills. Some very best and the others are just not up to the mark. The best comes with the highest price of unbearable pain one eventually bore before getting to know the lesson. There exists a time when almost all emotions are passions. We don't even consider them as emotions in the first place. Those are the days of foolery and carefree moments. As a boy evolves into a man, passions change into emotions, fooleries into lessons. The mentors told that a wise man should not fall at the same place again. One such passions is vengeance. In the days of fooleries it would not make us think of the consequences in settling a score. But when vengeance becomes an emotion from passion, anyone would be afraid to hit the head against the wall or to bite a dog back. That is the lesson. You tame your sanity as your age, as you learn. An emotional young fool can lose grip on his sanity if he is not apt which comes from experience. But nothing is eternal after all. Neither my pain, nor pride and not even sanity. But what you learn will show you the path at times when everything else is dark.  
Aamir Bilal

Strange. Stranger

I am clueless having absolutely no idea. That person is changing. I don't know why this is happening. But it is. That being is becoming more dry with each day. A part of me is thankful. That part of me lives beyond emotions. The other part feels this change and lets it alter his happiness. He, upon comparison of present with the old days, finds that person transforming into a complete stranger. Strange. There are so many things that he keeps observing silently and giving himself to emotions of sorrow. The other, upper one is elated already and waiting for a silent revenge.

Goodbye VOX

I would always feel attached towards VOX as it was where I posted by my first blog back in 2007. The generosity of VOX allowed me 2GB of space every month which I used primarily for saving images. My relation with blog strengthened when I used it as a diary and a note taking service too which stayed synced. On the 30th of this month (September 2010) VOX is getting closed by its parent company SixApart. Even typing this makes me a bit sad. I feel like a friend is on deathbed. I would always miss VOX. Always.

26-August-2010,

Aug 26, 2010 at 4:02 AM

One of the most beautiful mornings of the 4th semester. I went to the college a bit late. Mani wasn't with me at that time. He had a work that made him come late. I met a friend who gave me company. Then I attended a very boring class and found Sidra. We had a talk with another class fellow. But what happened after that just rocked my day. A day for the records. Maybe I get more inspiration to write about what happened some other time. But I am a bit lazy.

Forgotten Hero. Remembered Monster

The post is about an old man who lives some blocks away from my ancestral home and is a far far far distant relative too. Born in a well off family of zameendars, he was the junior most of his siblings. Even with resources, he never acquired formal education. A dispute over property earned him his share of property very early which he sold quickly and started his successful transport business. After a traffic accident, he ended up in a hospital where a pregnant widow gave birth to a daughter. She lived in the same neighborhood as him. God knows all happenings the best and he would know this too but somehow this man fell in love with that woman. A forbidden love of a rich bachelor from one sect of Islam and born in one caste with a poor widow of another sect of Islam and with a different caste. Moreover many started believing that the woman is jinxed as she was responsible for the death of her husband and gave birth to a girl. Sad evil society. Then that happened which is supposed to happen and happens always - family dispute, allegation and melodrama. To save the honor of family his parents got him married to a girl of their own choice who was more able somehow as she came from the same sect and the same caste. An year later his father suffered a cardiac event and died. This made that man divorced his wife who left that city.
Now thirty years have passed. He lives alone in an un-maintained, average house. We all know that old age is so hard and having no kids to support morally or even financially, he is seeing hell as many in the neighborhood say because he hurt his parents, divorced his wife and above all is a criminal in God's book for loving someone outside the line of sect. His transport business ended years ago. Loans from strangers and banks have broken him. I visited him yesterday. He never told me about that girl. Even I never had the courage to ask him directly. But the life he is living now is all those decisions he made including the love he committed. People label him as a sinner so quickly, which itself is a sin. He told me about having a heart attack last year which didn't hurt him as much as finding himself alone in the hospital. No one came to see him, not even his brothers. Cruel old age manifesting in one shape. No one will remember him just days or maybe even hours after he is no more. No one. But I will. I surely will remember. A nameless example that someone just sinned once, the sin of love.

26-August-2010

It was a positive day. One with only positive vibes in some weeks. In fact one of the most beautiful mornings of this semester. Going late to college, meeting only those people who matter, no relationshiT(with a T) stuff, attending a favorite teacher's class, buying new books, settling old scores, earning some money, making mom happy with some tasks. It surely was a great day. 

Sid's Father

Aug 24, 2010 at 8:21 PM
Sidra's father is ill. It is upsetting news. I solemnly pray for his well being and may he gets well soon. Amen. Fathers are awesome, amazing and irreplaceable. But we all overlook an obvious fact. Every father lives on forever in the shape of his deeds, actions and children. Like a leaf distant from the root unaware or forget-some it can never deny that it is still connected to the root.