(AABDBSDC-Repair)-بے چینی

A restlessness grips me today. And very tightly!

I am not a prophet. I am not the superman. I am not a king. I am just a common man. My stamina is not like a prophet's or a king's or even like the superman's stamina. My stamina is very low. Still under the skin of my chest lies a vast desert where many pains and secrets lie hidden. Some locked to such a level that even I have no keys to those secrets and memories. Good and bad moments of life remained a part of the path on which I kept walking since my childhood. Childhood was such a wonderful time. My dad used to come from Saudia and brought gifts for me. When he fell asleep, I used to try on his shirts. They were quite loose. And I used to ask him that when would I grow up. Time showed its colors. It turned my voice deep, raised hair over all of me, and even put a desire in my heart to have a mate sexually and even morally. Eventually I turned into a man. A boy lost his innocence and was transformed into a man. A man whose legal statement can put a criminal to death or spoil the image and life of a woman. Along with this growth time poured sorrows into my world too. I tried to lock all the gates and doors but still the sorrows found some way or the other and infected my peaceful childhood. My childhood died.
Now it's a habit that I remain upset. Surrounded with sorrows. Tearful with pains. And have many sleepless nights because of the inevitable restlessness. For the last some days, it was calm and quiet. No troubled news. No big fire. But today a news hit me that had made me really restless. 90% of the people when hear the news laugh at the sorrows of others. A very handful people would really think of it as something to 'THROW' sympathy at. I am not writing that terrible news but still I request humbly to all those eyes who read this and all those hearts who fear God in any format that pray for the one who is writing this. A restlessness grips me today. And very tightly!

October 1st, 2009