Oct 3, 2009
'Name' is one of the first words which we learn in life. In fact this word is among the earliest memories of our life. As a part of the training that parents experiment on kids including me, the word entered my life. That's when some relatives or dad's colleagues used to visit us, I was asked to say tell them my name and what class I attend. I used to answer my name. With time it became integrated into personality. Happens to everyone which is why in less than a second people respond to the question of what's their name. This five alphabet word became is my identity. Definitions hit a young mind fast that is why we keep sticking to them like some law. After years I still remember the definition of noun, the definition of verb, the definition of 'earth' and even the definition of God being the one who created everything including us. As our mind get stretched to newer horizons, newer definitions add up. But instead of helping reach a content heart and a satisfied mind sometimes they do the opposite. Increasing knowledge gives birth to more questions too. In the end we are left with still those simple and innocent definitions and words we learn in childhood. No matter how science defines God or Allah today, I still keep that definition from childhood about God as the first description of God. Another definition that I learnt soon after learning about God was about nouns. Noun is a naming word. I still believe it. My name is a noun. My nation is a noun. My neighbor is a noun. I am a noun. Even she is a noun too. A name that keeps clinging to the thoughts. Who is she? She is a fire. The fire whom I wrote as the title. She a noun. She is a name. A name that has hypnotizing eyes, metaphorically deeper than oceans, a lock of hair that imprison men, a voice that soothes the storms of the heart, a magic that spell bounds.‎ Someone told me that only kings and beggars can waste themselves on the path of love. Both have a similarity, a beggar has no worry. A king has so many. Their extremity makes them worthy to enjoy love that might very one day find itself on the pages of literature. A middle-class man like me has life chores, academic woes, daily stresses and troubles making that love adventure a fantasy. But that fire did lit up my soul. She does have a name which her parents gave her upon her coming to this world. A name that also laid the basis of her nick. A name that her friends call her with. A name that I have heard even before I met her. Names can induce triggers of happiness and regret. Saalar Sikander from Pir-e-Kamil gets the same trigger after meeting a little girl in the later years of his life. A name changes personality and life completely. One should note that a name can change a man even after the one bearing that name is no more.
Fire is what I have used in the context to describe a human. My moral constrains don't let me write the name. So calling her with a substitute noun - fire. Fire has the potential to cook. And to burn. It cooked this writing. Will it burn? Only time will tell.
October 3, 2009
Aamir Bilal