آگ،

Oct 3, 2009
'Name' is one of the first words which we learn in life. In fact this word is among the earliest memories of our life. As a part of the training that parents experiment on kids including me, the word entered my life. That's when some relatives or dad's colleagues used to visit us, I was asked to say tell them my name and what class I attend. I used to answer my name. With time it became integrated into personality. Happens to everyone which is why in less than a second people respond to the question of what's their name. This five alphabet word became is my identity. Definitions hit a young mind fast that is why we keep sticking to them like some law. After years I still remember the definition of noun, the definition of verb, the definition of 'earth' and even the definition of God being the one who created everything including us. As our mind get stretched to newer horizons, newer definitions add up. But instead of helping reach a content heart and a satisfied mind sometimes they do the opposite. Increasing knowledge gives birth to more questions too. In the end we are left with still those simple and innocent definitions and words we learn in childhood. No matter how science defines God or Allah today, I still keep that definition from childhood about God as the first description of God. Another definition that I learnt soon after learning about God was about nouns. Noun is a naming word. I still believe it. My name is a noun. My nation is a noun. My neighbor is a noun. I am a noun. Even she is a noun too. A name that keeps clinging to the thoughts. Who is she? She is a fire. The fire whom I wrote as the title. She a noun. She is a name. A name that has hypnotizing eyes, metaphorically deeper than oceans, a lock of hair that imprison men, a voice that soothes the storms of the heart, a magic that spell bounds.‎ Someone told me that only kings and beggars can waste themselves on the path of love. Both have a similarity, a beggar has no worry. A king has so many. Their extremity makes them worthy to enjoy love that might very one day find itself on the pages of literature. A middle-class man like me has life chores, academic woes, daily stresses and troubles making that love adventure a fantasy. But that fire did lit up my soul. She does have a name which her parents gave her upon her coming to this world. A name that also laid the basis of her nick. A name that her friends call her with. A name that I have heard even before I met her. Names can induce triggers of happiness and regret. Saalar Sikander from Pir-e-Kamil gets the same trigger after meeting a little girl in the later years of his life. A name changes personality and life completely. One should note that a name can change a man even after the one bearing that name is no more.
Fire is what I have used in the context to describe a human. My moral constrains don't let me write the name. So calling her with a substitute noun - fire. Fire has the potential to cook. And to burn. It cooked this writing. Will it burn? Only time will tell.
October 3, 2009
Aamir Bilal

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January 25th, 2009

This post was actually written on January 26th 2009. It was my flight back to Karachi yesterday. There is a strange way of laziness when I come back. there are some perks in Pakistan that one cannot enjoy in any country with a strong system of justice but there are some severe lacks including the lack of human security and social peace. Karachi in the times of PPP has severely Fallen way behind even when compared to countries like Mexico. Every other day I hear stories in the newspaper about this civil unrest. When I was not in Karachi these was just columns in a newspaper. But now I am witnessing them first hand.

January 24th, 2009

I bought a new watch today. I went out with Mani to Rahmania.he is a fan of watch making Since his school days. that is why the piece that we bought is the one which was recommended by him. we have disagreed on our design choices from our earliest memories. he does not like red and I do not like blue. he does not like coke and I'm not a fan of Pepsi. But I knew that what he would recommend would come from his knowledge of watches. the only thing he did not like about this watch where's my preference of the same model in red which he wanted in blue.

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January 21st, 2009

I never knew that I would be so much addicted to Facebook as I am now a days. there are very few people from the class who are as actively using the platform as I am. One of the reasons of this excessive use is the ability to use Facebook on the go. Most of my classmates still use the internet while sitting in front of a screen. I have a feeling that in the coming years this trend will change when smartphones like the iPhone or the Nokia N-Series  would be more cheaper and in more hands. I made a twitter ID a few days ago but I forgot the password and now I am locked out. even though I like that platform more than Facebook it is still a deserted town. someone from my class is also addicted to Facebook I have not seen who that girl is in the real life but she uses no photograph on her profile. But we have been exchanging messages very regularly. at the moment there is no possibility that these exchange of messages might evolve into something else. the previous evolutions are still more of a poison instead of a fountain of life. this classmate seems cultured and sophisticated through her messages. but she has made no comments or likes like the old poisons which have found me on Facebook.  somebody told me in old days that it is a poison which can kill another. I am actively searching for the cure.

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January 19th, 2009

I went to the Cornish with Mani in the evening. The camera was with me. in the recent weeks I have been uploading a lot of pictures on panoramio. Maybe it is like an addiction or maybe a genuine contribution, but I have taken pictures of Cornish and the path we take from home to the sea. But like every other time I start feeling lazy when I get home with a full stomach and then I want to postpone the uploading to the very next day instead of being a regular. some of the pictures have already crossed 10000 views.

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January 17th, 2009

It was my flight in the evening. Hassan dropped me home.  there was such a massive traffic jam in Sadar that we were able to reach only the Hyderabad bus adda.  from there onwards it was such a massive Rush that I decided to get ready and leave for the airport as soon as I can. I had given my Jupiter device to Hassan so that it stays operational. back and Lahore one of my internet connections was suspended just because nobody was using it for a couple of weeks. and it was very cumbersome  to get that connection working again. I hope by the time I come back everything is working fine and in perfect order. I have written this post while sitting in the waiting lounge of the airport. Mom and Mani are tired. I have my diary with me but my pen has dried up that is why I decided to type this post. I hope none of the scary Wi-Fi stories about airport internet comes true.

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Sea

January 13th, 2009

For the very first time after coming to this Institute I went to the seaside with Nadir, Farhan and Sufyan. It takes time to know people and from the recent events I am at the conclusion that even if you spend a lot of time with a number of people you would only be able to find a handful of friends. I don't know which of these people I want to receive it would be unchanged at the end of the final year. I hope that they remain what they are now.

HBL

January 10th, 2009

I sneaked into that branch of Habib Bank which is located at one corner of college. Was is the right word. I never knew that there was a bank branch right inside the college. Yet I am so sure that someone for his personal interests decided to shift their alliance from one bank to another and that is why now we have another bank where the students and the college staff are allowed to interact with the college and the university financially. After the second class everybody was busy having lunch. So I decided to probe around the college because I know that colleges and institutions like humans are also dynamic. They change with time. There must exist some sort of evidence before a massive change occurs that nobody has any recollection of the previous version.

With my camera I went to that deserted part. I had a fear that I might get caught either by the security guards or our hypersensitive over-smart principal. Luckily that did not happen. Here are some of the pictures that I took from a branch of that bank which functions no more. Not that it is any different from the other branches that are operational now. HBL has fallen in standard and customer care.

January 9th, 2009

Some nights had not been kind when it comes to sleep. That’s the reason of a prolonged slumber effect that stretches well into the time for classes. But I had found a temporary refuge. In fact I found a refuge some days back as well. It was a teacher’s room who is not around these days. His assistant made a deal for 500 rupees a month to let me sleep in his room. The teacher has gone on vacations which is why I am not able to sleep there. However this new refuge is the mosque that stays deserted until noon. Except for one man who comes to say nawafil right when I am sleeping. He has not disturbed me so far. This is the time when I am able to fill the sleep tanks. I took a picture of him when he came today.

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