March 11, 2005 / 04:11 PM  / Anarkali Cafe

کاش میں تیرے بن گوش میں بندا ہوتا 

رات کو بے خبری میں جو مچل جاتا میں 
تو ترے کان سے چپ چاپ نکل جاتا میں 

صبح کو گرتے تری زلفوں سے جب باسی پھول 
میرے کھو جانے پہ ہوتا ترا دل کتنا ملول 

تو مجھے ڈھونڈھتی کس شوق سے گھبراہٹ میں 
اپنے مہکے ہوئے بستر کی ہر اک سلوٹ میں 

جوں ہی کرتیں تری نرم انگلیاں محسوس مجھے 
ملتا اس گوش کا پھر گوشۂ مانوس مجھے 

کان سے تو مجھے ہرگز نہ اتارا کرتی 
تو کبھی میری جدائی نہ گوارا کرتی 

یوں تری قربت رنگیں کے نشے میں مدہوش 
عمر بھر رہتا مری جاں میں ترا حلقہ بگوش 

کاش میں تیرے بن گوش میں بندا ہوتا 

Scary Thoughts

February 19th, 2005 / 12:31 AM / 322HR

The hostel is deserted.

Muharram holidays have started. A lot of boys happen to come from surrounding cities like Faisalabad and Sheikhupura and have already left for their homes. Even my place is not that far away. I made a plan of going back but Lala insisted of not going anywhere this time which is why we are stuck here in our dens. It is not a discomfort especially during the day but when the night falls all the stories that I have heard about hostel especially the scary ones come to life. I have a belief about ghosts and witches and that might contradict the beliefs of a follower of any abrahamic faith because they are grown without the contamination of Hinduism. A lot of people living in Pakistan take a pinch of beliefs from the Hindu mythology like that of a Chudail or Aatma. I believe that all these demonic entities are made out of fire. Just like living things are classified from invertebrates to as complex as a man, these creatures of fire might be divided into ghosts, demons, ghouls, witches etc.  

 

I had heard a story from a school friend Abdul Majid Faiz. During his first month at UET, there used to be a senior boy who dropped his religious affairs after joining UET and used to stay unhygienic and do all the things that we were not supposed to do in school including watching porn. One night when he was all alone in his room he heard a knock on his door and thought that it might be some neighbour or a classmate. So he opened the door and all of a sudden somebody rushed in knocking him out cold. He could not remember what happened then. Afterwards coming to his senses he told his friends that the person who entered the room was wearing a hold and he could not see who he was. His face was in the dark. All he could see was his hand and his hand was not a hand of a human but like that of a reptile. After that event, the boy stopped watching porn and started attending his prayers regularly and that too in the mosque. To be a very good person, he stopped seeing his girlfriend and sent his mother to the home of the girl for marriage. But they rejected and afterwards he became a man of God. I wonder how many women are the sole reason for the men of God to become a man of God in the first place. This is the plot of many Pakistani novels like those of samaji novel shit that a failure in love or marriage makes a person more closer to God. You need to join a medical school to become a doctor. You need to join a military academy to become an army officer. You need to join a seminary in order to become a Mufti. But in order to become a man of God all you need is a bad relationship and somebody to teach you that lesson. I am finding love stories more scarier than ghost stories. As a matter of fact the last horror movie I watched had an absolutely stunning ghost. And the last porn that I watched was plain ugly which killed my appetite and I stayed empty stomach all that night. Still I am a man of God without any failed or successful relationship. At least I believe in a God and whenever there is trouble I had looked up to him even atheists would find that stupid and illogical.

 

Now why would any of such scary creature come to a boy's hostel and especially to my room when all they can eat would be harmful fat. Lala might be an interesting option because he has more meat than fat and that is a healthy diet. As I write this in the diary, I can hear a strange noise in the room next door and I know that the occupants are gone to their homes. Lala has gone downstairs to call his girlfriend. I wonder when will he return so that I can continue watching the movie which has already reached thrilling point. But the bigger question is how will I be sure it is Lala and not that hooded reptile man when the door knocks.

Knock knock!!

 Hostel corridors are empty. We are the only occupants on the top three floors.

Hostel corridors are empty. We are the only occupants on the top three floors.